You may be asking yourself, who is she to be speaking? Well, my name is Wendy Marshall-Hudzik and I was a friend of Dave’s. I was born a Chelmsford Center girl who was turned into a N.Chelmsford wanna be. Some of my best friends to this day were raised in “North.” I first met them along with Dave in Jr. High when the center kids got thrown in with the kids from the “capital.” Dave looked like every other pre-pubescent boy in my eyes at the time but he was always smiling and so sweet. We girls would meet up at Frosty’s drug store for a nickel root beer and whatever else we could afford, then hang around the square to watch the older boys go by. By the end of our freshman year Dave was really shaping up to be a fine-looking guy and still as sweet as ever. It was always a pleasure to meet him in the halls of CHS. Between our sophomore and junior years we had the first of many great summers! Hanging around in N.Chelmsford-We girls (the names withheld to protect the guilty) would hunt down someone with their license and a car to drive us around (mostly Gooch, God bless him! I bet I still owe him money for gas). Some nights we’d meet up with others at the Ledge. Ah the Ledge-that was our secret place (not) where we would sit, listen to the car radios, maybe dance (well I did, anyway) and swat mosquitoes. There would be maybe 5 or 6 guys and maybe 3 or 4 girls-no “couples”, just buddies. On occasion we would see headlights coming up the road. Knowing we really weren’t supposed to be there, and leaving no evidence behind we would run and hide in the trunks of the cars, leaving a couple of boy & girl teams to pretend they were parking, there were no submarines in the quarry- and the cops knew it but they’d just say to move along and wait for us to leave.
I was always one of the ones stuck in the trunk and never got to pretend to be parking, but Dave never got stuck in the trunk.
One night we were cruising around in that famous green ’61 Chevy, at least 5 girls in the back, Gooch and Dave in the front, all of a sudden at a stop sign Dave jumps out of the car and starts running. Gooch not wanting to draw any attention kept up beside Dave saying “Dave get in the car! Dave come on get in the car!” Then we girls chimed in “David get in the car. Come on David get in the car.” Dave said after about a mile “I can’t, I can’t I have to run off that Colt 45”!
Well, Dave just kept running and working out for the rest of high school making us classmates very proud of his athletic accomplishments! By the end of our Junior year he was very, very popular with the girls (it even says under his high school photo …..an all girl study) yet he was so humble. His popularity never changed his sweet, kind, gentle ways. I’m not even sure he knew how popular he was. He seemed to always have a “steady” but always a man’s man. You know the old adage “you’re known by the company you keep” well the group of guys he hung around with were a great group and have mostly kept in pretty close contact all these years. I would meet up with Dave through the years out and about and he always made me feel like I was the only person in the world he wanted to see! Always the best hugs! Very sincere in inquiring how my life was going.
At our class reunions that we’ve had every 5 years- of which he attended most-Dave always was seen smiling with everyone around him, unassuming still of his popularity.
Now, I like to think of relationships like jeans ( you guys might not get this but I think the girls will understand) jeans don’t always fit right, they may look good, they be practical or comfortable but if they’re not PERFECT for YOU then you just don’t feel good in them. I knew when I saw Dave at our 35th class reunion that he was feeling those perfectly fit jeans, the kind you could live in forever! He was gleaming! He told me he had married and all about this beautiful woman I saw with him and how overjoyed he was in having her in his life. I was so happy for him!
I had some reason to call their house soon after the reunion and got to visit with Kathy, she also told me of how happy she was and how wonderful she thought Dave was. Again, I was thrilled that she had the feeling of the perfectly fit jeans!
Too soon after that reunion there was word that Dave had Multiple Myeloma. No one could believe it- he was such a physically fit person. When the fundraiser was put on for him he never got over all the people that showed up to support him and Kathy- (to this day I don’t think anyone could get over how many friends were there) and he was so appreciative!
Again, so humble, he still didn’t know how popular he was.
I feel so blessed in having stayed in closer touch these past couple years. He and I had some wonderful, humorous and philosophical phone conversations, along with shared emails.
I could go on and on about the wonderful man Dave was and what a great example and representative of CHS and of course N.Chelmsford but I think this crowd shows his legacy-to have a friend= be a friend.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
From His Daughter, Lauren
I want to thank you all for coming here to remember my father. No words could do justice to what an incredible man he was and how much he meant to so many people, but I’ll try my best to share what’s in my heart.
My father was the strongest person I have ever met or will ever meet in my lifetime. He was an extremely talented and hard-working finish carpenter who created gorgeous work. There were a few things that he was really meticulous about: one being his work and another was his commitment to his health. Although cancer ultimately claimed his body, he fought until the very end to stay as well as he possibly could. His bravery and positivity in the most difficult of times was inspiring and truly a testament to his strength.
I can remember moments from my time with him, especially from my childhood, that will stay with me forever. When I was really young and living in the house that he built in Tyngsborough, there were countless times that he would sing me to sleep. I can literally remember sitting on his lap as he sang until my eyes shut and head fell against his chest. I can also remember when he would play music loudly in our living room, sweeping me off the floor to dance with him.
One of my favorite memories with him was when he taught me how to hold my breath underwater after I learned how to swim. I was scared out of my mind, so whenever he took me to the pool when we were living in Chelmsford, he would help me. He would sit on the edge of the pool in the deep end and have me swim over to him. I would hold onto his feet and try my best to stay underwater. It definitely took me some tries, but eventually he was able to let me go on my own.
I feel so fortunate to have had a father like him, and it makes me truly happy that so many people also loved him and have been touched by his life. I know that his memory will stay with me and with everyone who loved him. I personally hope that I continue to make him proud, and I thank him for being such a great father. We always used to hold each other’s hands and then squeeze three times for “I love you,” so I’m going to close by giving him three hand squeezes and adding forever to the end.
My father was the strongest person I have ever met or will ever meet in my lifetime. He was an extremely talented and hard-working finish carpenter who created gorgeous work. There were a few things that he was really meticulous about: one being his work and another was his commitment to his health. Although cancer ultimately claimed his body, he fought until the very end to stay as well as he possibly could. His bravery and positivity in the most difficult of times was inspiring and truly a testament to his strength.
I can remember moments from my time with him, especially from my childhood, that will stay with me forever. When I was really young and living in the house that he built in Tyngsborough, there were countless times that he would sing me to sleep. I can literally remember sitting on his lap as he sang until my eyes shut and head fell against his chest. I can also remember when he would play music loudly in our living room, sweeping me off the floor to dance with him.
One of my favorite memories with him was when he taught me how to hold my breath underwater after I learned how to swim. I was scared out of my mind, so whenever he took me to the pool when we were living in Chelmsford, he would help me. He would sit on the edge of the pool in the deep end and have me swim over to him. I would hold onto his feet and try my best to stay underwater. It definitely took me some tries, but eventually he was able to let me go on my own.
I feel so fortunate to have had a father like him, and it makes me truly happy that so many people also loved him and have been touched by his life. I know that his memory will stay with me and with everyone who loved him. I personally hope that I continue to make him proud, and I thank him for being such a great father. We always used to hold each other’s hands and then squeeze three times for “I love you,” so I’m going to close by giving him three hand squeezes and adding forever to the end.
Monday, September 7, 2009
From Greg
This was written by Greg Hope, Dave’s brother-in-law, and read by Kathy's son, Tyler, at David's Service.
My name is Greg Hope and seven years ago Dave Tousignant became my brother in law. The first time I met Dave it was obvious to me why my sister-in-law, Kathy, fell in love with him. Dave immediately became a member of our family that was held in the highest esteem. Even though Dave is now gone, his legacy of honesty, diplomacy, understanding, fair treatment of people, resolve and goodness will remain with me as it will with all of us. I know that I will not forget the time that I spent with Dave. In comparison to most of you here today, the time I knew Dave was short; however, in this short time I came to know Dave as the type of person who thought things out before he spoke or reacted. Dave and I would be discussing an issue or talking about someone and he would always focus his responses in the positive where I would focus in the negative, as that is my nature. Dave always saw the good in people, where I was always quick to point out the bad or negative. Dave once told me, “If there was a Post office of bad news, that I would be the Postmaster.” -------------- Ever since Dave promoted me to the “Postmaster of Bad News”, I’ve tried to do a better job of being positive in every respect, but I think I still have a ways to go. Today is your day Dave, no negativity allowed. I know that this profound statement from me would put a smile on your face.
Some other members of Kathy’s family had very recent experiences with Dave that they would like to share with you today. Kathy’s sister Kim, her husband Robert and five year old son Landon, recently visited Dave and Kathy about a month ago. Five year old Landon spotted a Tee-Ball set that Dave had purchased for his daughter, Olivia. Landon was very excited about using the Tee-Ball set, and Dave could not resist being the one to show him how to use it. As much pain as Dave was in, he went outside to play Tee-Ball with his nephew. Dave was enjoying himself as much as Landon was. Landon swung the bat and managed to hit the ball way over Dave’s head. Dave reacted like anyone would and quickly turned to see where the ball was going. He really hurt himself that day, but knowing Dave, it was well worth it and an experience that Landon still talks about and will never forget.
Also recently, Dave was watching his beloved Red Sox and decided to make himself some popcorn. He had finished his first helping and went back to the kitchen for more popcorn only to find that it was all gone. The culprit turned out to be Dave’s mother-in-law, Aline, who Dave affectionately nicknamed “The Stealth Bomber.” She had quietly come down stairs and took the rest of the popcorn without even giving it a second thought! Dave made more popcorn, but did not hesitate to share his dissatisfaction with her the next morning, and with his piercing smile, advised her that “she better not do that again!” Of course Aline initially felt bad for what she had done, but when Dave started to laugh she realized that he was just teasing her.
Aline, also known by the whole family as MeMe, has stayed with Kathy and Dave, off and on for the past few years, to help out and has developed a very special loving and caring relationship with Dave. MeMe has expressed to me that she loves Dave like a son. Since Dave became unable to work at the career that he loved, he and MeMe spent a lot of quality time together. Dave told me that most of the time he hardly even knew that she was there; but when he needed someone to talk to or when times got tough he was very thankful that she was immediately available for help and conversation. Dave elaborated that he had many helpful, calming conversations with MeMe.
Getting to know Dave has also provided me with the privilege of getting to know Dave’s immediate family, his mother Phyllis, his brother Ray and his daughters Lauren and Olivia. I enjoyed spending time with Dave’s Mother, his brother Ray and Dave’s daughters, and look forward to a continued relationship with all of them. They are a very caring and close family and have always been there for Dave during his long ordeal with cancer. While spending time with Dave, I was also privileged to meet some of his friends who I enjoyed very much.
Cancer is a very devastating disease and Dave fought a long valiant fight. To me, it was very impressive that Dave, as sick as he was and as much pain as he suffered, still continued to work out in his basement gym to keep his atrophying muscles toned as much as possible.
When my wife Lynn and I came to visit Dave and Kathy in April of this year, we admired all of the finish carpentry work that Dave had completed through the years in their home and the furniture that Dave had built. My wife Lynn and I were complementing Dave on his craftsmanship, and Lynn mentioned that she really liked a particular small cherry table that Dave had designed and built. Without hesitation, Dave looked at me and said, “Greg you used to be a carpenter. Let’s get some wood and build Lynn a table.” I replied, “Dave we came here to visit and spend time with you, Kathy and your family. Dave replied, “What better way could there be to spend time together than to build a table.” So we got the wood, and Dave patiently showed me what to do and put me to work between his knaps, as he could only supervise me for about a half hour at a time, due to his pain. I might add too, that I required a lot of supervision, because I was not a finish carpenter like Dave. I knew that it would be a challenge for me, but I also knew that it would be a fun project because doing anything with Dave was always a pleasure. So I had to exceed my very best capabilities before my limited craftsmanship abilities would pass Dave’s inspections. Dave and I had a few laughs about that. I won’t elaborate though. I have to retain some of my pride. Needless to say, I learned a lot from Dave about pocket joints and table construction during those four days that we worked on that table. I crated up the table and we shipped it back to Arizona, and have it on display in our home where we see it every day. I’m extremely glad that Dave talked me into the table project, as it is beautiful and a cherished reminder of Dave and the close relationship I will always have with him.
Dave has left a big footprint in our lives. Even up to the end, Dave portrayed an extremely admirable persona that was positive, caring and irrefutable. Dave cherished every minute that he was able to spend on this earth with his family, step family, friends and his soul mate Kathy. When we leave here today, I think we all should consider living our lives by Dave’s example.
Thank you.
My name is Greg Hope and seven years ago Dave Tousignant became my brother in law. The first time I met Dave it was obvious to me why my sister-in-law, Kathy, fell in love with him. Dave immediately became a member of our family that was held in the highest esteem. Even though Dave is now gone, his legacy of honesty, diplomacy, understanding, fair treatment of people, resolve and goodness will remain with me as it will with all of us. I know that I will not forget the time that I spent with Dave. In comparison to most of you here today, the time I knew Dave was short; however, in this short time I came to know Dave as the type of person who thought things out before he spoke or reacted. Dave and I would be discussing an issue or talking about someone and he would always focus his responses in the positive where I would focus in the negative, as that is my nature. Dave always saw the good in people, where I was always quick to point out the bad or negative. Dave once told me, “If there was a Post office of bad news, that I would be the Postmaster.” -------------- Ever since Dave promoted me to the “Postmaster of Bad News”, I’ve tried to do a better job of being positive in every respect, but I think I still have a ways to go. Today is your day Dave, no negativity allowed. I know that this profound statement from me would put a smile on your face.
Some other members of Kathy’s family had very recent experiences with Dave that they would like to share with you today. Kathy’s sister Kim, her husband Robert and five year old son Landon, recently visited Dave and Kathy about a month ago. Five year old Landon spotted a Tee-Ball set that Dave had purchased for his daughter, Olivia. Landon was very excited about using the Tee-Ball set, and Dave could not resist being the one to show him how to use it. As much pain as Dave was in, he went outside to play Tee-Ball with his nephew. Dave was enjoying himself as much as Landon was. Landon swung the bat and managed to hit the ball way over Dave’s head. Dave reacted like anyone would and quickly turned to see where the ball was going. He really hurt himself that day, but knowing Dave, it was well worth it and an experience that Landon still talks about and will never forget.
Also recently, Dave was watching his beloved Red Sox and decided to make himself some popcorn. He had finished his first helping and went back to the kitchen for more popcorn only to find that it was all gone. The culprit turned out to be Dave’s mother-in-law, Aline, who Dave affectionately nicknamed “The Stealth Bomber.” She had quietly come down stairs and took the rest of the popcorn without even giving it a second thought! Dave made more popcorn, but did not hesitate to share his dissatisfaction with her the next morning, and with his piercing smile, advised her that “she better not do that again!” Of course Aline initially felt bad for what she had done, but when Dave started to laugh she realized that he was just teasing her.
Aline, also known by the whole family as MeMe, has stayed with Kathy and Dave, off and on for the past few years, to help out and has developed a very special loving and caring relationship with Dave. MeMe has expressed to me that she loves Dave like a son. Since Dave became unable to work at the career that he loved, he and MeMe spent a lot of quality time together. Dave told me that most of the time he hardly even knew that she was there; but when he needed someone to talk to or when times got tough he was very thankful that she was immediately available for help and conversation. Dave elaborated that he had many helpful, calming conversations with MeMe.
Getting to know Dave has also provided me with the privilege of getting to know Dave’s immediate family, his mother Phyllis, his brother Ray and his daughters Lauren and Olivia. I enjoyed spending time with Dave’s Mother, his brother Ray and Dave’s daughters, and look forward to a continued relationship with all of them. They are a very caring and close family and have always been there for Dave during his long ordeal with cancer. While spending time with Dave, I was also privileged to meet some of his friends who I enjoyed very much.
Cancer is a very devastating disease and Dave fought a long valiant fight. To me, it was very impressive that Dave, as sick as he was and as much pain as he suffered, still continued to work out in his basement gym to keep his atrophying muscles toned as much as possible.
When my wife Lynn and I came to visit Dave and Kathy in April of this year, we admired all of the finish carpentry work that Dave had completed through the years in their home and the furniture that Dave had built. My wife Lynn and I were complementing Dave on his craftsmanship, and Lynn mentioned that she really liked a particular small cherry table that Dave had designed and built. Without hesitation, Dave looked at me and said, “Greg you used to be a carpenter. Let’s get some wood and build Lynn a table.” I replied, “Dave we came here to visit and spend time with you, Kathy and your family. Dave replied, “What better way could there be to spend time together than to build a table.” So we got the wood, and Dave patiently showed me what to do and put me to work between his knaps, as he could only supervise me for about a half hour at a time, due to his pain. I might add too, that I required a lot of supervision, because I was not a finish carpenter like Dave. I knew that it would be a challenge for me, but I also knew that it would be a fun project because doing anything with Dave was always a pleasure. So I had to exceed my very best capabilities before my limited craftsmanship abilities would pass Dave’s inspections. Dave and I had a few laughs about that. I won’t elaborate though. I have to retain some of my pride. Needless to say, I learned a lot from Dave about pocket joints and table construction during those four days that we worked on that table. I crated up the table and we shipped it back to Arizona, and have it on display in our home where we see it every day. I’m extremely glad that Dave talked me into the table project, as it is beautiful and a cherished reminder of Dave and the close relationship I will always have with him.
Dave has left a big footprint in our lives. Even up to the end, Dave portrayed an extremely admirable persona that was positive, caring and irrefutable. Dave cherished every minute that he was able to spend on this earth with his family, step family, friends and his soul mate Kathy. When we leave here today, I think we all should consider living our lives by Dave’s example.
Thank you.
Brian Corey's Message
I am hoping to get as many of the Tributes to Dave as I can and post them on the Blog. This was written and read by Brian Corey at David's Service.
I am honored and thankful to Kathy, Ray, Phyllis, and Lauren for the opportunity to share a few words about my friend Dave.
As I was thinking about what to say today I thought about the many stories we created while growing up. While reminiscing with Mel, Gerard, Bobby, Jackie and Butchy, we laughed a lot about the experiences and events that bonded us through our youth. We remembered stories that covered football, wrestling, church dances with the Victors, fun days at the training school, girl watching, and some really crazy antics we did for amusement. With their input, I have compiled a few of those memories to share with you today.
Phyllis I need to also state with the highest respect… The statue of limitations on these stories has run out.
I met Dave in the 7th grade when Chelmsford Junior High brought kids together from all over town. We became good friends quickly and I was welcomed into Dave’s circle of North Chelmsford buddies.
It was clear at a young age that Dave was a great athlete. Dave immediately introduced me to weight lifting. We would work out regularly up in his attic on Gay St. Now…I was a REALLY SKINNY little kid that had never touched a weight but Dave was determined he was going to turn us into championship body builders. He started teaching me proper technique on how to breathe, how to bend, how to balance. He was always very serious about the workouts but to be honest… all I could think about was the Tuna fish sandwich Phyllis was making for our snack - Phyllis always made the best Tuna. I was also more interested in listening to Ray practice his guitar.
Later on in High school we would lift at Gerard Cronin’s house at the Middlesex training school. Gerard and Dave again were very serious about the routines. They were constantly competing to see who could lift the most and the heaviest. The rest of us would finish our routine and just hang around. Dave would always show up with a new muscle magazine and then proceed to define yet another GRUELLING regiment. He was forever telling me to just keep lifting.
When we we’re freshman, Dave, the Carpenter boys and I played “Pop Warner.” We actually made the “All Star” team playing Lowell for the championship. It was a real wet, rainy day and Shed Park was a huge mud
bowl. While covered in mud we gave it our all but lost 7-6. However it was from there that Dave and the Carpenters went on to become starters for Chelmsford High’s Varsity Football Team.
While Dave was off becoming a football hero I chose to go the wrestling route. I wrestled alone our freshman year but aggressively recruited Dave our sophomore year. Along with Dave came Gerard, Mel, and Bobby. The gang was all together, and we were all on the same team. Let me tell you we had plans for that team. However Coach Schrock made it clear quick…this was one team we weren’t running.
Dave, Bobby and I were the only ones to stick it out through our senior year and we made some memories. Coach Whitehead remembers Dave as a natural athlete with an extraordinary talent. Dave had the ability to perform both physically and mentally at the highest levels and with the right amount of determination and timely guts. Yet he was always humble, approachable, kind and friendly as well as a great team mate.
However at one point…there was one small problem that put the team at risk. Dave developed a RASH. He had very sensitive skin. Now we all know Dave was very conscience of his appearance and extremely “BUGGED” by any kind of imperfection on his body. We were blown away when Dave said he wanted to quit because of “THE RASH”. Well….That took some talking, and OK, some begging from Bobby and me to get Dave to reverse his decision. Dave did rejoin the team and went on to win two State championships and a New England Championship for Chelmsford.
Not only was Dave a great athlete…. He was fun, a practical joker, and always a loyal friend. I remember the year Dave, Bobby and I won the states. We celebrated, and celebrated… and celebrated at my parent’s lake house. Our coach got wind of our never ending merriment and was stating as a result of our actions… we would suffer the consequences. Bobby and I got nervous, but Dave assured us… We were the team. The Team needed us. And … He was right… we went on to wrestle, we won and then we began to celebrate again.
There was the time Dave, Gerard, Mel, Bobby, Jackie and I made home brewed beer in galvanized trash cans we stole…I mean we borrowed from Quinn’s Hardware. We bottled the beer and left it in my parent’s lake house attic to ferment. After some time had passed the bottles started to explode in the attic and the beer stained the ceiling tiles everywhere. When it was clear I was in trouble…Dave and the gang disappeared faster than you can say bye. We ended up moving our operation to the woods. But… that career was short lived because….The Beer was AUFUL.
Then there was the infamous Demolition Derby with Dave and me in Kleynan’s 64 Chevy driving against Mike Gilotti and Gerard in Cronin’s 58 Chevy wagon. This daylong event started on High St. in North Chelmsford before school, continued in the high school parking lot and finally peaked at the Middlesex training school. Remember this was a boy’s reform school. After much crashing and slamming, the cars looked like a couple of crumpled banana’s, and now we needed to find a ride home. The resident reform kids who watched this derby couldn’t understand why they were residents and we weren’t.
Dave and Jackie’s first job out of high school was collecting trash for the town of Chelmsford and boy…. They had some great stories about some of the stuff that was in that trash and what they did with some of the trash.
Other crazy antics included climbing the North Chelmsford Water Towers, racing across the top of the steel girders of the Tyngsboro Bridge, and fighting our way out of the Billerica Battle of the Bands.
It was years later at Pat and my Tyngsboro home that Dave and Kathy got engaged. They were out canoeing on the lake when Dave popped the question. When they came up from the water they were both very happy and couldn’t wait to share the news.
After Dave was diagnosed with Cancer we spent a lot of time together reminiscing about old times, friends, events and family. Since we were both avid Red Sox fans…We were able to solve all the issues resulting from the game the night before.
I knew Dave was a carpenter, but I learned more about the love he had for his craft. He shared how he got started in the trade and his passion for building staircases. He also enjoyed showing me the work he’d completed in his home.
One day after LOTS of reluctance on Dave’s part to leave the house, I convinced him to let me take him to his last job site to see Moe and the crew. Once on site, Dave became a different person. He was excited about seeing the work that had been completed, admiring all the intricate details, and eager to hear about what was happening next. You could see Dave loved being back on the job, even if it was only for an hour. Phyllis called me that night and said….”I usually want to smack you Corey but today I could Kiss you.” Yes!!!... I finally got Phyllis to like me.
When Dave was in remission after the stem cell replacement and feeling stronger he wanted to still work. We talked about him finishing off some molding around windows in my basement. Well, he came over to scope the job and ended up replacing all the interior doors, building a new mantle for the fireplace and a window seat in the master bath. He also designed, constructed and installed cabinets in the garage and finally six months later we made it to the basement to focus on the original plan.
While replacing the interior doors, my job was to do all the lifting. One Day while I was carrying a door from the garage to the bedroom, Dave stood holding the kitchen door open for me and said “who would of ever thought you would be carrying doors for me.”
Dave was a prankster right up to the end. When Dave’s back got tired while working at the house, he would pull out his sleeping bag and lay flat on the garage floor. Ruth and George (my in-laws) would stop by and think Dave was sleeping. He got a kick out of listening to them shushing each other and tip toeing around to not wake him up. Dave would continue to fake sleeping, listen to their conversations and then… sit-up and join in the conversation scaring them both.
Dave’s attraction to wood work never stopped. Occasionally on his way to my house after a treatment, he would stop by Barry Bells to checkout and admire the work Barry had done on his old Victorian Home.
Dave was very happy at this stage of his life and it was very easy for him to talk about his love for his family. He just wanted more time with Kathy, his girls, Mom and Rae. His concerns were only for them.
Our friendship started strong and ended strong with some gaps in the middle. I will always be grateful to have known Dave and all the memories we have shared will be forever cherished and remembered.
So buddy…. Where ever you are… I know you have a gym set up, and you’re working out. I’m sure you have already targeted a few and are encouraging them to join your routine. Lucky them.
Oh yea…and build us one more staircase.
I am honored and thankful to Kathy, Ray, Phyllis, and Lauren for the opportunity to share a few words about my friend Dave.
As I was thinking about what to say today I thought about the many stories we created while growing up. While reminiscing with Mel, Gerard, Bobby, Jackie and Butchy, we laughed a lot about the experiences and events that bonded us through our youth. We remembered stories that covered football, wrestling, church dances with the Victors, fun days at the training school, girl watching, and some really crazy antics we did for amusement. With their input, I have compiled a few of those memories to share with you today.
Phyllis I need to also state with the highest respect… The statue of limitations on these stories has run out.
I met Dave in the 7th grade when Chelmsford Junior High brought kids together from all over town. We became good friends quickly and I was welcomed into Dave’s circle of North Chelmsford buddies.
It was clear at a young age that Dave was a great athlete. Dave immediately introduced me to weight lifting. We would work out regularly up in his attic on Gay St. Now…I was a REALLY SKINNY little kid that had never touched a weight but Dave was determined he was going to turn us into championship body builders. He started teaching me proper technique on how to breathe, how to bend, how to balance. He was always very serious about the workouts but to be honest… all I could think about was the Tuna fish sandwich Phyllis was making for our snack - Phyllis always made the best Tuna. I was also more interested in listening to Ray practice his guitar.
Later on in High school we would lift at Gerard Cronin’s house at the Middlesex training school. Gerard and Dave again were very serious about the routines. They were constantly competing to see who could lift the most and the heaviest. The rest of us would finish our routine and just hang around. Dave would always show up with a new muscle magazine and then proceed to define yet another GRUELLING regiment. He was forever telling me to just keep lifting.
When we we’re freshman, Dave, the Carpenter boys and I played “Pop Warner.” We actually made the “All Star” team playing Lowell for the championship. It was a real wet, rainy day and Shed Park was a huge mud
bowl. While covered in mud we gave it our all but lost 7-6. However it was from there that Dave and the Carpenters went on to become starters for Chelmsford High’s Varsity Football Team.
While Dave was off becoming a football hero I chose to go the wrestling route. I wrestled alone our freshman year but aggressively recruited Dave our sophomore year. Along with Dave came Gerard, Mel, and Bobby. The gang was all together, and we were all on the same team. Let me tell you we had plans for that team. However Coach Schrock made it clear quick…this was one team we weren’t running.
Dave, Bobby and I were the only ones to stick it out through our senior year and we made some memories. Coach Whitehead remembers Dave as a natural athlete with an extraordinary talent. Dave had the ability to perform both physically and mentally at the highest levels and with the right amount of determination and timely guts. Yet he was always humble, approachable, kind and friendly as well as a great team mate.
However at one point…there was one small problem that put the team at risk. Dave developed a RASH. He had very sensitive skin. Now we all know Dave was very conscience of his appearance and extremely “BUGGED” by any kind of imperfection on his body. We were blown away when Dave said he wanted to quit because of “THE RASH”. Well….That took some talking, and OK, some begging from Bobby and me to get Dave to reverse his decision. Dave did rejoin the team and went on to win two State championships and a New England Championship for Chelmsford.
Not only was Dave a great athlete…. He was fun, a practical joker, and always a loyal friend. I remember the year Dave, Bobby and I won the states. We celebrated, and celebrated… and celebrated at my parent’s lake house. Our coach got wind of our never ending merriment and was stating as a result of our actions… we would suffer the consequences. Bobby and I got nervous, but Dave assured us… We were the team. The Team needed us. And … He was right… we went on to wrestle, we won and then we began to celebrate again.
There was the time Dave, Gerard, Mel, Bobby, Jackie and I made home brewed beer in galvanized trash cans we stole…I mean we borrowed from Quinn’s Hardware. We bottled the beer and left it in my parent’s lake house attic to ferment. After some time had passed the bottles started to explode in the attic and the beer stained the ceiling tiles everywhere. When it was clear I was in trouble…Dave and the gang disappeared faster than you can say bye. We ended up moving our operation to the woods. But… that career was short lived because….The Beer was AUFUL.
Then there was the infamous Demolition Derby with Dave and me in Kleynan’s 64 Chevy driving against Mike Gilotti and Gerard in Cronin’s 58 Chevy wagon. This daylong event started on High St. in North Chelmsford before school, continued in the high school parking lot and finally peaked at the Middlesex training school. Remember this was a boy’s reform school. After much crashing and slamming, the cars looked like a couple of crumpled banana’s, and now we needed to find a ride home. The resident reform kids who watched this derby couldn’t understand why they were residents and we weren’t.
Dave and Jackie’s first job out of high school was collecting trash for the town of Chelmsford and boy…. They had some great stories about some of the stuff that was in that trash and what they did with some of the trash.
Other crazy antics included climbing the North Chelmsford Water Towers, racing across the top of the steel girders of the Tyngsboro Bridge, and fighting our way out of the Billerica Battle of the Bands.
It was years later at Pat and my Tyngsboro home that Dave and Kathy got engaged. They were out canoeing on the lake when Dave popped the question. When they came up from the water they were both very happy and couldn’t wait to share the news.
After Dave was diagnosed with Cancer we spent a lot of time together reminiscing about old times, friends, events and family. Since we were both avid Red Sox fans…We were able to solve all the issues resulting from the game the night before.
I knew Dave was a carpenter, but I learned more about the love he had for his craft. He shared how he got started in the trade and his passion for building staircases. He also enjoyed showing me the work he’d completed in his home.
One day after LOTS of reluctance on Dave’s part to leave the house, I convinced him to let me take him to his last job site to see Moe and the crew. Once on site, Dave became a different person. He was excited about seeing the work that had been completed, admiring all the intricate details, and eager to hear about what was happening next. You could see Dave loved being back on the job, even if it was only for an hour. Phyllis called me that night and said….”I usually want to smack you Corey but today I could Kiss you.” Yes!!!... I finally got Phyllis to like me.
When Dave was in remission after the stem cell replacement and feeling stronger he wanted to still work. We talked about him finishing off some molding around windows in my basement. Well, he came over to scope the job and ended up replacing all the interior doors, building a new mantle for the fireplace and a window seat in the master bath. He also designed, constructed and installed cabinets in the garage and finally six months later we made it to the basement to focus on the original plan.
While replacing the interior doors, my job was to do all the lifting. One Day while I was carrying a door from the garage to the bedroom, Dave stood holding the kitchen door open for me and said “who would of ever thought you would be carrying doors for me.”
Dave was a prankster right up to the end. When Dave’s back got tired while working at the house, he would pull out his sleeping bag and lay flat on the garage floor. Ruth and George (my in-laws) would stop by and think Dave was sleeping. He got a kick out of listening to them shushing each other and tip toeing around to not wake him up. Dave would continue to fake sleeping, listen to their conversations and then… sit-up and join in the conversation scaring them both.
Dave’s attraction to wood work never stopped. Occasionally on his way to my house after a treatment, he would stop by Barry Bells to checkout and admire the work Barry had done on his old Victorian Home.
Dave was very happy at this stage of his life and it was very easy for him to talk about his love for his family. He just wanted more time with Kathy, his girls, Mom and Rae. His concerns were only for them.
Our friendship started strong and ended strong with some gaps in the middle. I will always be grateful to have known Dave and all the memories we have shared will be forever cherished and remembered.
So buddy…. Where ever you are… I know you have a gym set up, and you’re working out. I’m sure you have already targeted a few and are encouraging them to join your routine. Lucky them.
Oh yea…and build us one more staircase.
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